Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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