I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
