So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
