she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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