i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
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I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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