I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
