The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
