Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
