Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
