4 words: hood of his car
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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