Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
