so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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