I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize