The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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