so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My ATM looks so different sober.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize