if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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