my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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