I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
