From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
