what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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