with your own penis?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
