I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
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I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
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I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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