Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Two words: nipple clamps
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