but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
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So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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