Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
