every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
