Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
