Me too!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
