Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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