you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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