Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
