I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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