You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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