these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Too much gin, very little bucket
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
