dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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