So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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