I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
