Whatcha textin bout Willis?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
