i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
