I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
