I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize