Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
