Your dad touched me again.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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