Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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