She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
