Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
