a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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