If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize