I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Someone came in the potted fern
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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