he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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