Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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