I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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