somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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