I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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