Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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