...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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