I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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