Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize