We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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