People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That accounts for only three of the penises
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
