There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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