You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
